There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
