It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
