Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
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i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?