Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?