One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
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Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.