Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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(618): View more from Illinois

i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.

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(469): View more from Texas

On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens

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(707): View more from California

I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?

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