I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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