And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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