is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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