Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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