I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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