i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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