I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
