I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
foreskin is a definite game changer
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
