I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
my poor anus
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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