you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
