I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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