i just google imaged poop.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
