Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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