He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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