do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You've changed since you got that strap on
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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