So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
