3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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