he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
