Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
