Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
