you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
