He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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