Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
