I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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