so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
