He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
