Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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