My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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