come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm passing your future prison.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
