Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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