I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my shit smells like andre
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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