She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He did a backflip because drugs
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
