It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
