I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
