Im at strip club and am horny
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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