I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
