Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
