This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize