scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
