she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
