oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
