oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
