Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
