Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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