Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
