Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
