Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
