so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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