Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
