There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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