either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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