New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
