I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
