i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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