i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
