three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize