i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And then my night got REAL pukey
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
